The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Richard Bach
In my own family, there's just my husband Gani and my daughter Anna and there's me. Just the 3 of us. Most people, and even we sometimes, feel that there ought to be more of us. God does provide and in our case He not only added one member to our family - He more than quadrupled it!
I do not mean to disregard my immediate family and that of Gani's (brothers and sisters and their families. But God has blessed us with having an extended family of about 50 people! Our extended family is made up of about 13 families. We go a long way back, about 10 years now.
I guess the one thing that bonded us was our common activity - mass service. This, and that one fun practice that we never failed to do - potluck lunches after every Sunday mass. We'd gather at the Libot residence (more often than not) and bring whatever we prepared for lunch and spend the rest of the afternoon talking about life in general. The moms would gather in the dining area while the dads stayed outside. The kids had their own group - there were the teen-agers, the tweens and the grade-schoolers. At times, these lunches would extend until the evening when we'd all go back to our houses and get more food and go back to the same venue for dinner. We would plan our vacations but would take care to mind the mass service. There were times whe we would forego vacations or take short ones because our absence meant that the mass would be "mingaw" - no songs, no servers.
These get-togethers (tapok) filled with fun, laughter and food - kept us close. We evolved and became the TAPOK FAMILY.
Our kids grew up together and experienced life changes together - from teeth gaps, menstruation, bras, and circumcisions to debuts, graduations and relationships. Birthdays, anniversaries and other life milestones are celebrated together. We've gained (a lot!) and shed pounds (just some). Our husbands' thinning hair proves our long-time friendship. We've stood as baptismal or confirmation sponsors to each other's kids and we've cheered our kids in their accomplishments and rallied for support when they needed it. We'd laugh and cry over joyful and sad stories and we still pray together; maybe that's why we've stayed together.
We know each other's love stories and pet-peeves. We've memorized our jokes and antics. Our bloopers and anecdotes would be retold countless times and would elicit the same response as the last time. When one leaves for some place, others would be informed of the absence for car pooling or emergency response. We'd exchange parenting and cooking tips and would go on ukay-ukay sprees or scout for antiques and quaint household stuff that would make for nice conversation pieces.
We all call each other Tita or Tito or just plain Tits! The Titas in particular are known for something or other. Tita Gina Libot is the Hermana Mayor, responsible for whatever needs there would be for the masses; she was also the perennial host of the Tapoks. Tita Alma Salih whips up special Mediterranean dishes and "refreshing" and delectable dishes - couscous and fresh green salad with feta & olives or appetizers of fruit and cheese (just not the very "aromatic" raclette!). For nifty designs of printed materials, we depend on Tita Isel Makapugay, who is just as nifty in the kitchen where she makes yummy tapioca, strawberry soup or juicy steaks. Tita Chari Lada is our Martha Stewart, whose home looks like a page in Better Homes and Gardens; she is a good cook, as well. Tita Noemi Casino is the gracious host, efficient organizer and kitchen diva!
We could always expect fresh fruits and healthy dishes from Tita Leni Bacolot (we also hope to have her figure!). Tita Judith Amik is a great "joke supporter" and always appreciates your cooking by asking for the recipe and trying them out. Tita Darlene Limbo is known for her fashion and style and will not hesitate to serve lechon for the simplest of reasons for a get-together. When we need medical attention or advice, Tita Doc (Rosette Cabrera) is only a text away; she does house calls for the Tapok and updates us of our children's vaccine schedules. Of course, there's Tita Edna Puertas and her breads and pastries. And for comic relief, there's always Tita Marlene to bank on. Tita Ginny Aspera is known for her piano skills and Tita Eloy Mongcal cooks yummy Kare-Kare or can infect you with her laughter. And there's one Tita that never fails to clarify almost anything ~ Tita Jing Capitan and her "Alin? Alin?" or "Ano daw?" ensure that everyone knows exactly what is being talked about! Me? Well, I'm known as Ms. Nette, ever the teacher, reminding kids to behave at mass, or to play outside instead of PSP, and telling the Titos off, every time an off-color joke is told.
We do not always agree on all things and have agreed to disagree on certain issues. We try to respect each other's opinion and keep the peace.
Some of the Tapok members have relocated since. The Pabayos, Ladas, and the Carranzas have relocated outside CDO. In 2010, when my Dad passed away, we had to leave the subdivision to transfer to a bigger house so my Mom could stay with us. Since then, our get-togethers have been few and far-between. We miss the frequent and regular tapok with our extended family but we continue to keep in touch. We may no longer serve at mass or come together at a moment's notice for beer and nuts or for the Sunday lunches but we continue to update each other, albeit not as regular as before.
Our Tapok Family has grown bigger since 10 years ago - the kids are no longer kids as they have grown older and bigger. We exlaim how much taller the boys have become or how the girls have become ladies, now with their own special guys.
In the past, we'd talk about how to handle teen-agers, kids' health problems, school work and the simpler concerns in life. Nowadays, we share our physical pains as our bodies adapt to our ages and exchange observations of mood changes in our husbands. We're starting to talk about how to support our grown children in their careers and guide them in job hunting. And much later (and we all hope that it would be much, much later!), we would be exchanging tips on how to plan for our chidren's weddings and family life.
I feel very blessed to have the Tapok Family. They are my brothers and sisters and children; they have made me appreciate and value my family even more. And I pray that when our children shall have their own families, they, too, will continue this tradition of the Tapok and gather together as a family.
God bless the Tapok!
