Second Chances

I believe in second chances. I didn't used to but as I grew older and wiser, I relented to the fact that yes, for as long as there is life, there is hope.

Reading the opening line might prompt one to think that this piece would be about some thought-provoking or overwhelming experience. It's not. But I feel the need to share how an unpleasant experience turned into a really nice one.

About four weeks ago, my family together with my mother, decided to take lunch at a pizza parlor downtown. What was hoped to be a pleasant lunch break became nerve-racking as the order takers and the cooks seemed to be oblivious to their promise of serving the food in 15-20 minutes. Long story short - the food came one after another, in 15-20 minute intervals! Worse, the pizza tasted like it came from the fridge and was "warmed" on the counter top (the cheese topping was not melted!), the chicken was not cooked through and was served 45 minutes after the order was taken. Disaster!

We demanded for a discount; they gave it, without a whimper! The manager came by, apologized profusely and promised to serve us a free meal the next time we dropped by the mall.

Two days ago, we happened to be at the mall and decided to take on the manager's offer.

I don't know, maybe it was because the crew were conscious about who we were and why we were there. The food was served in 15 minutes, the pasta was tasty and the chicken flavorful. I thanked the manager for the free meal and he thanked me for giving them a chance to make up for the unpleasant experience we had a month ago.

I felt good - who wouldn't? After all, the meal was free! But more than that, it made me feel good that I gave someone a second chance to recover from an embarrassing experience.

But then I felt bad when, after a couple of hours later, I saw a friend post on Facebook his disgust about the SAME pizza parlor's poor service! They were seated next to us on the day the resto was making up for their boo-boo.

Oh, well!

My big dream

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt


Our trip to Europe was exciting, filled with fun, thrills and delights. It was amazing! We went up the Spanish steps from the Piazza, taking in all the sights and sounds of the famous landmark; this after visiting the Vatican. Another time, we enjoyed the bustling urban scene from the French bistro, savoring the light and healthy french cuisine; I just had to try and take wine with my late lunch! Never was there a more overwhelming feeling than when I set foot in the famous gazebo in Salzburg, Austria. It was one of my favorite scenes in The Sound of Music. I just had to be there! Germany....aaahh....if there was one reason for my wanting to go back to Europe, it would be Deutschland! After all, it was the first European country I ever visited. Wunderbar, indeed! Seeing it again was fanstastic! I cannot forget the pilgrimage to Fatima and to Lourdes. And although Prague is not a usual pilgrimage site, we just had to include it in the itinerary. Our devotion to the Holy Infant Jesus of Prague was the other reason we had to go to Europe. That and the fact that Prague struck us as something mysterious and wonderful at the same time! And so there we were, traipsing all over the small and wonderful continent of Europe, taking in as much of the breathtaking sceneries, strange but interesting sounds and enjoying the wonderful epicurean delights the countries had to offer. We enjoyed the busy cities. But personally, I was overjoyed with the countryside, the quaint shops in the little towns that thankfully modernization has decided not to spoil. I could go on and on about our European tour but then it's time to wake up from this wonderful dream.....

No, we have not gone on a European vacation but yes, we WILL definitely go! It's been a dream that I've had ever since I could spell the word Europe. I've always said that I will not care as much if I never set foot in the US for as long as I will go back and see the whole of Europe the next time I get a chance. That big, seemingly elusive chance has not been close enough for me to grab it but I know in my heart of hearts that it will come my way.

I believe that one day my family and I will find our way to Europe to enjoy the sights and sounds of that magical place. That one day may not come soon but it will come! And I know that when that day comes it will be....wunderbar!

We've got talent!

Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.
Erica Jong


There's a lot of competitions out there that try to discover raw talent from almost everyone who has the guts, the talent or both. It's amazing how much talent there is all over the world. And as much as there are really talented people out there who know that they've got IT, there are also people who think and believe that they have what it takes when they actually don't!

I think it's still mind-boggling how the second group of people could confidently, and sometimes cockily, audition without ever realizing that they belong somewhere else! I do not mean to offend but people ought to realize what their real talents really are! Just because they love music and singing does not necessarily mean that they would make great singers. What's sad is that a lot of these people constantly pursue a dream that will never become reality for them. I don't know what's worse -- that there are people who believe too much in themselves or that the people around them do not tell them the truth! I think its pathetic when family and friends "support" their kin with the wrong ambition and pursuits because they do not want to hurth their feelings or negatively affect their self-esteem. It's not fair!

In one of the X-Factor auditions that I chanced upon, there was this girl who "marketed" herself to the judges before she sang. Her singing was not horrible but it was not impressive either. She was shocked when Simon told her that she doesn't have it. She countered by asking why she would be hired over and over again by her employers (she's like a music instructor at some camp) if she were not good. In the end all four judges told her to focus on marketing, sales or become a motivational speaker instead. I think what hurt her more was the thought that she was in the wrong profession, having trained for several years in singing! She would have probably taken it well if she was told that she was not good enough; but to be told that she did not have IT and that she should consider doing something else.....I don't know what has become of that girl but if she were a mature person, she would have probably given the judges' suggestions a second thought and pursue one of them.

There are children who were brought up by parents who encourage and affirm them. There's nothing wrong with that. Parents ought to do just that. But it's one thing to encourage and affirm children and tell them how great they are when they truly are great, it's another to let them think that they have IT when they don't. They grow up deluded and conceited and get sorely disappointed when other people tell them the truth.

It's not easy to accept the fact that we're not good at something that we love doing. But the earlier we realize that, the better for us. Most people limit "talent" to the arts. What people need to realize is that everyone is capable of doing something really well, not just because they are trained for that but because they have the desire and the passion to doing it very well. One just has to start being conscious of one's strengths and discover what makes you smile, happy, and passionate about.

I believe that EVERYONE has a special gift from God. Declaring that you are talent-less is like saying that God has not loved you enough, which is totally untrue!

We've all got talent and sooner or later, we are responsible for sharing it with the world!

My passport to heaven

Perhaps I had a wicked childhood
Perhaps I had a miserable youth
But somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good....
By Maria Von Trapp, The sound of Music


My husband and I have been blessed with only one child. I don't regret having just one. It would have been great if we had more than one but I'm okay with my only child, Anna Fides Celine. She's all of 17 summers and I can't get over the fact that she's no longer a baby. I think it's worse for her to have a mom who feels this way, poor thing!

In a couple of years she'll be done with college and who knows where she'll be, what she'll do? Do I think about it? I can't even get past the thought of her having her debut this June! How does a mom face this thing squarely? This phenomenon, wonderful in some ways and scary in most...a child growing up. What parent can safely say that she has raised her daughter well or that she'll be fine on her own and that she'll know what to do? Why does it feel like I haven't done enough and that I might have made a mistake somewhere? I try to assure myself that my feelings are normal and that it's understandable to feel insecure; that no matter how we raise our children, they are bound to commit mistakes as this is part of life. But I still pray that the mistakes that she'll commit are those that can be rectified or corrected.

When Anna was a little girl, she would ask how we became her mom and dad. I used to tell her that when she was up in heaven with Papa God, she chose us to be her parents out of the millions and millions of people in the world! We are so lucky! Of course, later on when she had to be disciplined and admonished and had her taste of punishments for misdeeds, she probably wondered how she could have possibly chosen me, for instance, to be her mother when I could be so mean. (Every mother is a witch in the eyes of their kids when disciplining time comes! When cousins from the US came to visit, they exclaimed at how cool I was as a mom and Anna would look at them like they were from outer space! She would retort and tell them that she found their mom cool! Ouch!

One look at me and most people would agree with my girl. Admittedly, between her dad and me, I am the disciplinarian and do I look the part! It's just that I would be so worried that she might get into trouble or that she would find herself in harm's way if I stopped correcting or reminding her of the DO'S AND DON'Ts of life. A recipe for disaster! Any teenager would feel harassed! Can't blame her. But I somehow cannot stop myself from grabbing every opportunity to dish out a litany of reminders....sigh....

I'm still not confident if she can make it out there...what with a world of difference between what we have taught her and the reality of the world running contrary to the beliefs and the truths that we have tried to instill in her. It's a scary thought but one which I will have to face and accept...soon.

My husband, bless him, assures me that we have tried to be the best for her; that any mistakes that she might commit would be because she is growing up and that it would be part of her reality as they were part of ours when it was our time. He tells me to lift her up to God and offer her to Him so he could constantly guide and protect her. He believes that we could only do so much and will have to let life do the rest. If we did right by her, she will be fine.

I may not be the best mother in the world; with all my flaws and compulsions I don't think I'd ever be nominated Mother of the Year, any year! But I pray that despite my limitations and weaknesses as a person and mother, life would look kindly on my dear daughter and allow her to blossom into the person that God wants her to be; to be a person fully alive, basking in the love and affection of people who care for and admire her; to be someone whose heart is full of consideration and kindness for others; one who will constantly develop her gifts and become the best that she can be for herself and for God.

That shall have been my greatest achievement in life. Then I might just be able to enter heaven....

To my dearest darling baby, I love you so much!

The Road Less Traveled

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the 'one less traveled' by,
And that has made all the difference.
By Robert Frost

I wonder at how some people can think that to be like the rest is an achievement; or that to do what everyone else is doing is doing the right thing. But sometimes I think and do like the rest....

About 10 years ago, I asked my husband if he would consider working and/or living abroad. It seemed like everyone our age was scrambling to acquire a US visa either to work or to settle there; anywhere but stay home. His reply struck me...apparently, he put to heart what the University President said (who was the graduation speaker of his class)..."stay in Mindanao and help it grow!" (Mindanao is the 2nd biggest island of 3 in the archipelagic region of the Philippines). I could not believe that someone who practically had his entire academic education from the Ateneo would feel this responsible for the region where he grew up in. I ought to have this mindset, having gone to the premier state university in the country. Bayan muna! (Country first!)

It did not seem right. Like most of my countrymen I, too, wanted the white picket fence around the house in suburban America with all the home gadgets and a well-manicured garden. I wanted to experience things in the Big Apple and visit Capitol Hill; watch shows on Broadway and pose with the Golden Gate behind me; I imagined seeing the seasons change - have outdoor barbecues with the neighbors and sip cold lemonade on hot summer days; wear sweaters with the blouse collar out and sweep the autumn leaves on a nippy afternoon; trim the Christmas tree and place decor on the mantle as the fire crackles and everybody huddles by the fireplace while sipping eggnog or hot chocolate; I love the idea of going on an easter egg hunt with all the pastel-colored ribbons and nice flower-print dresses on a fine spring day....I read too much, watch too many TV shows and browse through a thousand American magazines. Shallow musings...

10 years later, we're still here in the old country; still disappointed with a corrupt and bureaucratic government where public service mostly sucks and majority of the population is lazy and undisciplined. I could stay disappointed and envious everytime I see friends and relations on Facebook living their "succesful lives" as shown in pictures of snow and fancy cars, of the latest Chanel and LV bags, of vacations on some hot spot in the US or Europe. But I shouldn't...

This is a choice that we have made. I am not closing my doors to seeing the sights of the world! I believe that if I can imagine it, then I can do it....I might just need more time than most people. Almost EVERYONE wants to be somewhere else except in this country of ours. Almost, but not all.....

A friend told me once: "If you're doing okay here, then you're better off here!" There are a million reasons why people leave. There are also a million reasons why some of us have decided to stay....

And maybe if we just decide to put our hearts and minds to it and decide to pull our acts together, then we might see the day when there is less corruption and more efficiency in the government system, there are more hard-working Filipinos pulling their muscles and eking out a decent living for the bright future of their families, and a lot more countrymen who believe in themselves and commit to develop the Philippines.

The road is long and winding, as the song goes. Sometimes such a road is taken less. But I would not mind if a lot more people took it - the road to progress, to discipline, to cultural development, promotion and appreciation - to just a better Philippines. More shall have traveled down that road but it would be okay.

Let the Magis come out.....

“Excellence can be obtained if you:
...care more than others think is wise;
...risk more than others think is safe;
...dream more than others think is practical;
...expect more than others think is possible.”

Magis....I get a lot of comments about my business' name MAGIS PROFESSIONAL SERVICES. What's Magis? Isn't that The Three Kings? Aahhh....MagiC!

Most times, students of the Jesuit-run Ateneo or graduates of this school or its affiliates, ask me this. I have to remind them that as Ateneans they of all people must know what this means. Putting it simply, it means doing more, loving more, helping more...(for the greater glory of God, if I may add). I like the way this precept challenges us to always do more, or think out of the box whenever we implement a project. God bless St. Ignatius for this precept of his!

I wish people understood the thought of the Magis and that if only we let it be our guiding light in every thing that we do, then a lot of tasks will be accomplished in ways that we want them done.

My daughter used to mind (I think she still does) everytime I reminded her of the magis and that it's an expectation that we have set for all of us in the family (there's just me, my husband and my daughter). That whatever project or assignment she makes, she has ot make sure that it speaks well of her as a person and student. I just wish her teachers bothered as well. I can't blame her if she's not motivated; not when she talks of teachers who are lackadaisical inhow they teach.

I, too, am guilty of not being consistent in practicing the magis but I practically kick myself whenever I find myself doing a mediocre job out of something. In my line of business, I can't afford to be mediocre although, yes, I've been guilty of being lousy sometimes.

Whatever it is though that makes us want to do the right things right, we need to remember that it's not what we do that counts as much as HOW we do them -- especially when we are capable of doing a better job!

Go on, let the magis in you come out and do your Creator proud!